Well we FINALLY got some child support for Dakota. It wasn't a lot, but it's better than none I guess. At least now I can actually get him the things he needs without having to worry about if he is going to get them or not. blah.... I hate talking about this crap.. But I feel like If I DON'T talk about it...or vent... it'll bottle up and I'll take it out on someone else that doesn't deserve it.
So ya,
Dakota went with Dustin and his other family this past weekend, which made me very nervous. Even though Dustin is his biological father, he hasn't really been around. A lot of people probably see that as my fault since I keep Dakota from him, but if everyone knew Dustin the way I know Dustin, they would keep Dakota from him for now also.
But, now Dustin has a new girlfriend, Holly, and I'm thinkin' this girl is going to CHANGE Dustin for the better. At least, I'm hoping so. I may seem like a "cold hearted bitch.." when it comes to Dakota seeing Dustin, but for anyone reading this that DOESN'T have children, you will understand when you do. And if you DO have children, you should know I feel. To want to child to be safe with people you trust.
And a lot of people ask me "Why don't you trust Dustin. He is Dakota's father?" and that's something I feel like I don't have to explain to ANYONE.
This Holly girl, she's nice and I can tell that all she wants is for everyone to be civil and for Dustin and his family to see Dakota more. And even though I feel is really is NONE of her business, she will be around my son now so I'm giving her a little leniency about this whole situation.
I can't honestly say, that I don't love Dustin anymore. I DID love Dustin. I think my feelings for him started changing when Dakota was born because I was starting to realize what was REALLY important. Just because 2 people have a baby together, doesn't mean they have to BE together. Dustin and I getting a divorce was the best thing for all of us, including Dakota. I would rather Dakota have 2 parent's happy with other people who treat Dakota GREAT, rather than 2 parent's together, completely miserable and treating each other like crap. Everyone who knew me, saw that I was miserable in my relationship with Dustin, because I got treated like crap, but to this day sometimes I think to myself, "Why in the hell did I ever let someone like THAT treat me so BADLY!?" I LOVED the person I was before I met Dustin, and because of Tanner :) I am making progress of turning back into that person.
It took me 5 years with the wrong boy to finally find the RIGHT MAN! :) That my family LOVES by the way. My family has never liked ANY of my boyfriends as much as they like Tanner :)
But all-in-all, I just want Dustin to be with someone that's going to want him to spend MORE time with Dakota and less time thinking EVERYTHING else is more important. Holly and I had a great conversation, and even though there were some rough patches, she knows her place when it comes to Dakota and she knows what she should and shouldn't say about the situation, and I respect that, and I think that's what makes me like her so much.
We might have started off on the wrong foot...but it seems like we will hopefully be ending on the RIGHT foot.
So from here on out, I'm hoping I will be getting calls on the weekends Dakota is supposed to go with Dustin saying "Hey, we're coming to pick up Dakota!" and that everything is going to go smoothly and be the way they should be.
BUT, if things start going BAD like before, I will put a stop to it :) Simple as that.
AND Dustin may be Dakota's father...but Tanner will ALWAYS be his Daddy. Tanner has been around since Dakota was 6 months old. Tanner is the one that has been supporting Dakota and Tanner is the one Dakota calls Daddy. HE loves Tanner oh so much and I am SO happy Dakota has a man like Tanner in his life :)
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